Lemmings For False Liberty (New CT Column)

11 Aug Posted by Carolyn in Christianity Today, Grace, Moral Development, Steve Bell, Writings [published articles]
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Relationship That Leads to Life
Why God's law is good news.
 
Posted online on August 11, 2010

My husband and I are trying to get our kids to consistently do their chores. We've tried threats and rewards but worry that our extrinsic motivators are holding our kids back from learning to obey simply because it's the right thing to do. "Gee," we long to hear them say, "my folks love me and know what's best for me, so I better pick up that broom and chip in."
 
Our struggle with our kids got us thinking about God's struggle with us. Surely he wants us to do the right things for the right reasons. As his people, do we behave "Christianly" because of extrinsic or intrinsic factors? As his church, what are our ideas about moral development?
 
I once spoke at a family camp of believers and nonbelievers who had been meeting for years. One morning, a seminary graduate shared his story with the group. David had weathered a crisis of faith when his father—a sternly religious man and prominent church leader—had been exposed in chronic sexual sin. David said that healing had come slowly and that, looking back, he realized the Christianity of his upbringing had overemphasized "morality" in place of "relationship."
 
It sounded to me like David's dad might have benefited from a little more emphasis on morality. And I worried that David's take was not what the group needed to hear; two affairs had fractured their community in recent years. To me, it seemed they were suffering from too much relationship and too little morality.
 
I remember my reaction now with chagrin. I've since seen individuals and church communities with a robust focus on morality fall countless times. I get David's point: An emphasis on holy living without a genuine, life-changing relationship with a holy God can lead to rigid legalism on the one hand or secret sin on the other—and often it leads to both.
 
I also know Christians who emphasize relationship—and God's un-earnable, inexhaustible love—yet who have catastrophic moral falls. Such failings do not disqualify us for God's forgiveness, but they often have shattering consequences.
 
So what works? When it comes to shaping character and behavior, is it better to focus on God's law or his grace?
 
Psalm 119 is a love song to God's law, which seems odd. My friend Steve Bell says he never understood such passion for a moral code until he thought about children playing near the edge of a cliff. Without a fence, the children are always in danger, never able to relax. But if a barrier is installed, they can play freely and without fear. God's law is God's grace. It's a safety fence that brings incredible freedom.
 
Of course, it's only a matter of time until a kid starts to wonder what's on the other side of the fence. If she doesn't know or trust the fence builder, she might suspect that the barrier is holding her back from bigger fun. So she hops the fence, a lemming for false liberty. Humanity has an extensive track record on this front.
 
Fortunately, there's more to the story. God's law is not only a safety fence; it's also a mirror that shows us we can't live up to his standards without his help. Jesus comes not to abolish the law but to finally fulfill it. Yet many of us keep hopping the fence. Why? Partly because we still don't really know and trust the fence builder.
 
God doesn't expect morality in the absence of relationship. The first line of the Ten Commandments (Ex. 20) is not, "You shall have no other gods before me," but, "I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery." God defines the relationship first, then describes a life lived in its context.
 
Psychologists warn that extrinsic motivators for morality erode intrinsic ones. When our preachers thunder warnings about living right to avoid God's wrath or earn his favor, we run the risk of drowning out that still, small voice that beckons us to live out the holiness given us solely by our Father's grace.
 
Conversely, when the message is that our behavior doesn't matter, that God's grace is unmerited and therefore morality is not a major issue, we seem not to know our Father at all.
In the end, it isn't morality versus relationship. It's morality because of relationship. "Grow up," Jesus says in his most famous sermon. "You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you" (Matt. 5:48, The Message).
 
If we know our Father loves us, and we love him, we'll trust whatever he asks of us. We won't need the threats and rewards that can skew real faith toward pharisaism. We'll just pick up our brooms and chip in.

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Comments very welcome below or on CT's site.

Comments

Ryan (not verified)August 11, 2010 - 2:16pm

Exactly Carolyn. We shouldn't

Exactly Carolyn.

We shouldn't do good works to get saved, we should do them because we're saved.

Timothy Blaisdell (not verified)August 16, 2010 - 2:02pm

Children playing near a cliff

Excuse me, but doesn't Christian doctrine teach that most of the children - indeed, almost everyone who's ever lived, statistically speaking - will fall off the cliff?

What would you say about a father who let his children play near a cliff, providing only a small, easily tripped-over "fence" for thier protection? And when it is discovered that MOST of his children fall to their deaths over this "fence", what then? What kind of a father is that?

Would you tell these children about the wonderous gracious wisdom of the father in providing this "protection"? Would you tell them that the children who are falling to their deaths daily are themselves to blame for their own demise?

The fact remains that, to this day, the doctrine of "eternal conscious torment" is taught in virtually all mainstream Christian churches. This doctrine says that unless you accept God's "wonderful plan of salvation by grace", you will be subjected to unending torments in Hell forever and ever.

If Christians are looking for a reason why so many of their people live by "extrisic motivators", they need look no further than this. If a father says to his child: "If you don't do as I say, I will beat you to death", then he should not wonder that his child has a hard time relating freely with him, and tends to cower in fear when he comes around.

Tim

CarolynAugust 18, 2010 - 7:45am

Thanks Tim, Here are some thoughts ...

Tim -- Thanks for your perspective.  I understand your point and have wrestled with it myself, but I think you might have misunderstood the way I was using the metaphor.  This piece is not about what happens to us when we die, it's about our moral development.  To me they are linked but different. 

As far as what happens when we die ... The longer I live the more convinced I become that the eternal destiny issue is all about grace; we can't earn God's approval or acceptance and He doesn't want us to -- he just wants us to accept his free gift of grace.  You see God as a cruel father consigning his children to hell.  I see the children as rushing there all by themselves, and God standing in the road offering a way out.  I agree with you that hell is often (mis)understood as a punitive measure, but my own understanding is that it's more of a consquence, a choice.  Still, I see where you're coming from.

But this piece is about how we best foster moral development.  The cliff here is not hell, it's the poor moral/behavioral choices we make that blow up our own lives and the lives of other people.  The fence, in my view, is the father's guidance as to how best not wreck each other's lives.

Still, you're right -- if you see God as a cruel father only too eager to send his children to hell, why would you trust his guidance in anything else?  If your church experience has portrayed that vindictive God, I think it has let you down.  I'm sorry, and I hope you get to meet Him another way.

Peace to you,

Carolyn

Anonymous (not verified)September 10, 2010 - 9:32am

"In the beginning of life we

"In the beginning of life we follow ‘the rules’ out of blind and powerless fear, totally lacking any understanding; then we grow a little – in size, in knowledge, and in our estimate of our own importance and strength - and break some of the rules out of petulant and prideful arrogance, often feigning understanding; then we fail miserably, and in our growing awareness of His importance, we follow the rules out of broken and humble obedience, accepting our inevitable defeat in order to claim His inestimable victory for ourselves, at last deeply and genuinely understanding. Through it all, the rules remain the rules, with no concern about how they're perceived or if they're accurately understood or totally misinterpreted. God’s Truth comes without a handle or an explanation. It descends upon and infiltrates us through difficult, sometimes exasperating experiences. Ultimately, if we are courageous enough to let go of the insistence on getting our own way, we accept and relax into our death, enabling and expressing true life, His way."

From a blog written by Jim Spivey (rcdailyjournal.blogspot.com)- it just seemed so beautifully relevant to the topic of the column. BTW, I am currently re-reading The Journey of Desire (its original title) by John Eldredge, and started (again) consciously recovering own my heart (and its many desires) as both sign and means to my ongoing revival in God. It's work, but thankfully good work. And His Life goes on, and moves us, endlessly.

CarolynSeptember 20, 2010 - 4:35pm

thanks!

I don't know who you are, Anonymous, but I love how you think.  Thanks for sharing yours and Jim's throughts -- great stuff!

CA

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